Understanding What is Normal & When to Be Concerned

Green Light: Natural & Expected

• Curious about genitals, breasts, intercourse, babies, takes opportunity to see nude people including pictures
• Watching/peeking at people during bathroom functions
• Uses "dirty" words for bathroom functions, sex, and genitals
• Plays doctor, inspecting other people's bodies
• Interested in babies and birth
• Interested in showing/touching "privates" to other children and having his/her seen/touched by children of the same age
• Interested in urination and defecation
• Touches/rubs own genitalia when going to sleep, tense, excited, or afraid. (Soothing mechanism)
• Find opposite gender children "gross" or have "cooties," plays chasing games
• Plays house and simulates all roles of mommy and daddy
• Talks about sex with peers, having a "boy" or "girl" friend, plays games with peers related to sex and sexuality
• More concerned about personal privacy in bathroom/changing clothes
• Draws genitals on human figures for artistic expression/figure is being portrayed nude
• Pretends to be the opposite gender
• Kisses familiar adults and children, allows kisses by same

Yellow Light: Of Concern

• Has fear/anxiety about sex or sexual topics
• Continues to get caught watching others during bathroom functions
• Continues using "dirty" words despite being told no, being punished, parents using appropriate language themselves
• Frequently plays doctor despite being told no
• Uses "dirty" language when other children complain
• Sex talk gets child in trouble, makes sexual sounds such as moans or sighs, romanticizes relationships
• Becomes very upset when seen in bathroom/changing clothes
• Continuous fascination with genitals, nude pictures, seeing nude people, drawing genitals on some nude figures but not all and some on clothed figures with disproportionate genitals
• Wants to be opposite gender
• Wants to play games with much younger/older children related to sex and sexuality
• Wants to compare genitals to much younger/older people
• Continuously wants to touch "private parts" of other children, tries to engage in oral, anal, or vaginal sex
• French kissing-talks in a sexualized manner to others, fearful of hugs and kisses by adults, gets upset with public displays of affection, kisses unfamiliar adults or children